What is your definition of career
success? For most of us recognition, status, financial security, and
wealth come to mind. Why wouldn’t it? Our society has trained us to
associate these things with career success. There is also an
implicit promise here that if we are successful, we will be happy. But is
it true?
Perhaps this story
below will shed some light as it did for me. A friend shared with me this
talk by Dr. Richard Teo. I
copied the most relevant excerpts below to illustrate aspects that I think are
the most important to remember, as we continue to strive in our careers.
Dr. Richard Teo, was a millionaire and a cosmetic surgeon.
He gave this talk about success, wealth, happiness, and joy on Nov 24, 2011.
DR. TEO BACKGROUND
… I’m a typical
product of what the media portrays. From young, I’ve always been under the
influence and impression that to be happy, is to be successful. And to be
successful, is to be wealthy. So I led my life according to this motto.
Coming from a poor average family, back in those days, I was highly
competitive, whether in sports, studies, leadership. I wanted it all. I’ve been
there, done that. But at the end of the day, it’s still about money.
…The truth is, nobody makes
heroes out of the average general physicians in the neighborhood. They don’t.
They make heroes out of rich celebrities, politicians, rich and famous people.
So I wanted to be one of these. I dived straight into aesthetic medicine. …
people were willing to pay $10,000 for a liposuction. So I said, ‘Well, let’s
stop healing the sick, I’m gonna become a beautician; a medically-trained
beautician.’
And that was what I
did – liposuction, breast augmentation, eyelid surgeries, you name it, we do it.
It was very good money. My clinic [had 3 months wait list and we expanded to
other locations hiring more doctors]. I’m there, my time has
arrived. Around February last year, I said, ‘OK, I have so much spare
cash, it’s time to get my first Ferrari…” I was also looking for land, to share
with some of my friends…and build our houses.’
I was at my prime,
getting ready to enjoy…
THE UNEXPECTED
In March 2011, out
of the blue … I had some backache, and that’s all I had, but it was persistent.
And so I went for an MRI to exclude prolapsed disc. And the day before I had my
scan, I was still in the gym, lifting heavy weights, doing my squats. I work
out six days a week. And the next day, they found that half my spine had
bone marrow replacement. I said, “Woah, sorry, what’s that?”
We had a PET scan
the next day, and they diagnosed that I had terminal lung cancer, stage 4B. It
had spread to the brain, half the spine, whole of my lungs were filled with
tumor, liver, adrenals…
I said, “Can’t be,
I was just at the gym last night, what’s going on?” I’m sure you know how it
feels – though I’m not sure if you know how it feels. One moment I was there at
the peak, the next day, and this news came and I was totally devastated. My
whole world just turned upside down. I couldn’t accept it. I have a
hundred relatives on both sides… And not a single one has cancer. To me, in my
mind, I have good genes; I’m not supposed to be having this! … I was in denial.
…
DR. TEO
REALIZATIONS
…over the last few months, I started to understand what this true
joy is about. In the past, I substituted true joy with the pursuing of wealth.
I thought true joy is about pursuing wealth. … let me put it to you this way,
in my death bed, I found no joy whatsoever in whatever objects I had – my Ferrari,
thinking of the land I was going to buy to build my bungalow etc, having a
successful business. It brought me ZERO comfort, ZERO joy, nothing at
all. Do you think I can hold onto this piece of metal and it’s going to give
true joy? Nah, it’s not going to happen.
[In the past, I
have mistaken true joy with a short term pride]. I would drive my
Ferrari, show off to my relatives, and show off to my friends, do my rounds,
and then I thought that was true joy? You really think that my relatives..share
this joy with me? In truth, what I have done is just illicit envy, jealousy,
and even hatred. .. what I have is that short-term pride that wow, I have
something you don’t have! And I thought that was joy!
So what we have is
basically a short-term pride at the expense of somebody else. And that wasn’t
true joy. And I found no joy at all on my deathbed, thinking of my Ferrari – to
hold on to it…?!?
UNDERSTANDING OF
TRUE JOY
True joy I
discovered comes from interaction. Over the last few months I was so down. Interaction
with my loved ones, my friends…, and only then was I able to be motivated, able
to be uplifted. To share my sorrow, to share my happiness – that’s true joy.
And you know what
makes me smile? True joy comes from helping others in hardship, and because
I’ve gone through this, I know what hardship entails. In fact, there’re some
cancer patients who tell me a lot of times, people come up to them and tell
them, “Stay positive. Stay positive.” Yah, right. You come in my shoes and you
try to stay positive! You don’t know what you’re talking about!
But I have the
license. So I’ve been going out to meet other fellow cancer patients, to share
with them, encourage them. And I know, because I’ve been through it, and it’s
easier for me to talk to them.
….
DR TEO’S PARTING
WORDS OF WISDOM
There is nothing
wrong with being rich or wealthy. … So many people are blessed with good
wealth, but the trouble is I think a lot of us can’t handle it. The more we
have, the more we want. I’ve gone through it, the deeper the hole we dig, the
more we get sucked into it, so much so that we worship wealth and lose focus. …
It’s just a human instinct. It’s just so difficult to get out of it.
So if I were to sum
it up, I’d say that the earlier we sort out the priorities in our lives, the
better it is. It is important to love and serve others, not just ourselves.
Don’t be like me – I had no other way. I had to learn it through the hard way.
…
Dr. Teo passed away Oct 18, 2012 at
the age of 40. His talk lingered with me and here is what I took
away from it.
1. Put my career success in the bigger perspective and pursue it
for the right reasons – don’t do it just for money and status
2. Joy and success come from how I develop myself and contribute to
others positively in my life. They do not come from showing that I have
things others don’t have.
3. Enjoy life every single day as there is no guarantees of
tomorrow
4. Be thankful for what I have
5, Give your entire life to Jesus, its worth it
Best wishes
to your career! Happy Holiday
